So you’ve fallen in love with the Filipina woman of your dreams, but what do you do next? There are several good questions to ask yourself about your intentions or plans, and a few points to take in mind with regards to the laws and what to expect.
Filipinas are some of the most genuine, loving, caring, and catering to your needs kind of woman that you’ll ever meet. So it should be no wonder why so many foreigners from around the world come to the Philippines every year searching for their other half, but what do you do once you’ve found here?
Are you here to stay?
Once you’ve settled into the Philippines and found the woman of your dreams one of the first biggest questions is where do you intend to go from here? Are you able to bring your business or work with you and live in the Philippines, or do you expect your Filipina lover (soon to be wife) to move back with you to your home country?
It’s important to appreciate how close of a bond most Filipinas have with their family, and how big of a thing it is to ask one to leave their friends and family behind to move out of the country with you. While there are plenty that likely have no problem with this as long as they can still come back and visit, it’s important you find out which of these your Filipina love is.
Plenty of foreigners come to the Philippines, fall in love, marry, and start a family here. But it’s critical your first research or considers the immigration laws, and what type or types of visa you may qualify for, along with your Filipina wife. Often, the solution is what’s known as a 13A Resident Visa, or the visa you receive once successfully married to a Filipina.
This takes a lot of the complications and unwanted headaches and costs associated with just being considered a “tourist” in the Philippines and having to get a new visa stamp (extension) every 60 days.
Have you become one with her family?
Lots of (foreigner) men may not realize it, or be in denial of the reality but when you marry a Filipina – like any woman – you’re marrying into her family as well. Therefore, it’s highly recommended you meet with her family, talk with them, “bond”, and understand what you’re getting yourself into. A person’s family, and especially a Filipinas, says a lot about a person, who they are, where they’ve come from, and what type of person they’re likely to be.
It’s also significant to consider the reality that in most cases without her family’s good wishes or approval she will not marry you, and may even break off the relationship. While not common it has happened in the past, so put your best foot forward, learn as much as possible about your future Filipina wife, and get to know her through her loved ones and friends.
Filipino families are some of the most welcoming, sincere, and loving families you’ll ever meet, and if you’re fortunate enough to get their approval and be liked, know that you’ll forever have their support, trust, and protection, no matter where you are or what the circumstances.
Filipinos take care of their own, and while every marriage and family come with its share of drama, they are nowhere near as dramatic, two-faced, or stressful as most American in-laws that you may have met or dealt with in the past. Filipinos stick together, enjoy living together (next point) with their families, and taking care of one another.
How does your Filipina Wife plan to live?
Have you talked to your Filipina wife about her living arrangements and plans for once the two of you are married? It’s not unusual for Filipina family’s to all occupy one or two houses together, often right next door. It’s likely your Filipina wife will still want to live close to her family, but this does have merit.
For example, if you and your Filipina wife live close to her family, it’s likely they’ll always be over offering to cook, clean, help, and even take care of and babysit your children if and when that day comes.
It’s also not unusual for a Filipina and her husband to live with her mother or another close, older relatives. Is this something you’re comfortable with doing? It’s so critical you have this conversation with your Filipina girlfriend or fiancé by popping the big question or making the big move. The last thing you want is miscommunication or surprises
Have you come to an agreement or have realistic expectations for what gender roles the two of you have, or what one expects the other to do? While Filipinas make absolutely wonderful mothers and wives, not all are meant to or wish to be a “stay at home mom”.
Sure, it’s one of the most popular lifestyles here but it doesn’t mean it’ll be what yours wants to do. Plenty of Filipinas wish to and do successfully achieve higher education, and seek a real, part-time or full-time career. This reemphasizes the importance of communication and being on the same page with your future wife.
Acceptance and Approval by Others
The Philippines happens to be one of the most arguably democratic and free countries in all of Asia. People can be whoever they wish to be here, and live a free, nearly worry-free lifestyle as they commonly avoid materialism and focus more on family and happiness.
With that being said, just like any other place don’t automatically accept or assume that everyone you meet or know will be approving of your new marriage to your Filipina lover. However, in the end, keep in mind what matters most is your happiness, satisfaction, and that you find and make a life with the right woman for you.
Plenty of people both local Filipinos and foreigners will have their “war stories”, gossip, etc. but at the end of the day you’ll know better than anyone else if you’re truly happy, and if a marriage to your Filipina is best for your future.